Boys are dumb.

I had always told myself this, but as of recent, I have realized it to be absolutely true. This boyfriend of mine (or shall I say ex-boyfriend) did not treat me well. At all! He would talk about how beautiful other girls were while we were hanging out, and he would ignore me and avoid me (literally). I wasn't really sure if this was how relationships go, this being my first one and all. So I told this guy, Nate, about all of the stuff that He did, and Nate told me to talk to him about it, and so I did. It took awhile, just because he was still avoiding me and stuff, but I finally got together with him, and we talked, and He explained some stuff, but I didn't quite believe him. So I thought about it a lot, and after much deliberation, decided that the best move, for the both of us, would be to end whatever we had, because it sure wasn't a real relationship. So I asked if I could see him after I got off of work(planning to break up with him), but he was at the hospital because his friend got hit by a car, so I thought that maybe tonight isnt the best night for this. So I was going to get some council from an experienced friend and I texted, "Collins friend just got hit by a car. Should I still break up with him?" but I accidentally sent it to him and that's how he found out. I called him and explained myself and he was perfectly fine with it. He actually acted like it was a relief that I broke it off, which led me to question if he ever did like me. So I woke up the next morning and a post that he had put on facebook made me a little sorry for breaking up with him. It went a little like this: "Two songs haven't hit me harder than these two songs: "Remember When(Push Rewind)" by Chris Wallace and "I Should've Kissed You" by One Direction. For some reason these have just kicked me in the stomach and feelings have flooded back to me about someone. ....miss you....I thought, well he never kissed me, so this could be directed toward me. So I text him about it. Come to find out, it is not about me, but it is about a girl that he broke up with 2 years ago, and he admitted to me that he is in love with her. Yeah. That makes me feel really grand. So he was in love with this girl the whole time that we were dating. That explains some stuff though. I don't regret the experience. He taught me a lot about myself, and about relationships. I just wish he would have been more honest with me.

Confession: I really miss him.


Its been a while, and a lot has happened. I graduated from high school, got offered 4 different scholarships, decided where I am going to college, became an adult, got a boyfriend, and my car broke down.
Graduation was an incredible experience, and an emotional one as well. I already miss high school, which is weird, but it's sad to walk away from a place that you have such a strong emotional connection to. It's scary to leave your life that you had, and start a whole new one in a new state with new friends, on your own. High school was easy. College is going to be rough.
I got offered a bunch of different scholarships, and I was almost set on going to SUU, but after I visited the campus, I realized that it was definitely not for me. I had this feeling that I should go to BYU-I, and then I got offered 2 scholarships to go there. It definitely made my mind up.
So it was my birthday on July 5th, and I am a legal adult now. Its crazy, but fun. I feel like I have so many more responsibilities to fill in the next few months, with college and everything, and I don't feel quite as juvenile any more. For my birthday, my friends attacked me (literally) and took me out to breakfast at 12:00 am. It was so fun! All the people at I-hop sang to me, and I was serenaded by two harmonica-playing, tall, and somewhat decent looking! Then, I went to sleep, and my friends took me to Lowes extreme sports, which is like a power tumbling place. I made a fool of myself, and for the first time in my life, was completely comfortable with who I am. Then, I had my birthday party, and a certain someone was there, and it made me really happy, and we were going to watch a movie outside, but then it rained. So we watched it inside, and this certain someone asked me to sit by I did.
So about this car deal, Lucy and I were together for a full year, and what a year of adventures that was. I fixed her up quite a bit, and then she repays me by DIEING?!?! What is that? Its all good. I'm over it. I have moved onto Annie. A silver 1999 Volkswagen Beetle with a sunroof. Dream car at 18? Check.
So this boyfriend? His name may or may not be Collin Williams, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't know that I have a blog, so I can basically say anything about him. Yay! So he started woking at Riverside, and I thought I recognized him from somewhere, so I asked him if he danced, and he told me that he has danced for 12 years. Stalker status. Anyway, we flirted a lot, and I invited him to my birthday party, and he came, and he asked me if I would sit by him, so I did. The next night, he came over to my house, and we watched a movie, and he put his arm around me. Then, the next monday, I think, we watched more scary movies at my house (just because his house is under construction) and we cuddled a fair amount. Then, the next Wednesday, I asked him to go on a triple date with me, and my two friends and their boyfriends, and we watched a movie at my house, and we cuddled....a lot....and then the next friday, we went to his friends house, and watched more movies, and his friends mom was asking us how we knew each other, and a bunch of different questions, and then she said "I'm just gonna get straight to the point. Are you guys dating?" and I looked at him and said "um...I dont know, collin? Are we?" and he said, "I dont know. Do you want to?" and I said, "Sure! We're dating!" Thats how we got it all sorted out. then we went on another date, and then we went to the hot pots, which I would highly recommend, although it is a bit of a hike. Then on pioneer day, we played soccer, and watched Ferris Buellers day off, and we got snowies, and after we finished our snowies, he kissed me on the cheek. Then we sat at the duck pond at BYU, and we talked about some deep stuff. He is leaving on his mission on September 5th, and he's going to Guadalhara Mexico. His parents don't want him dating anyone before his mission, so he hasn't told them about us, which makes me concerned. Anyway, thats whats going on in my life, well, thats not everything, but theres a good majority of my summer.

Confession: I really really like him...<3