once upon a time, there was a girl. Her name was Danielle, and she felt very under appreciated. While directing the school play, she thought that at the end of everything, the cast would thank her and give her flowers or something. She dreamed about them calling her out on stage and presenting her with flowers and the whole crowd clapping for her. Lets just say that her dream didn't come true. She received flowers (not from the cast) and she went on stage (after the audience was gone) but with out appreciation, she felt very left out and alone. Unfortunately, she still feels that way. She happens to have feelings. Oh and the gossip that freshman spread ultimately gets back to me, so watch your back, frosh.

So its been months. Yeah. Literally months. Wierd, huh.  Well, over the past few months, school has started, I obtained a job, and I jumped off a cliff. Oh, and I petted a dinosaur. Be jealous. Just kidding. I didnt jump off a cliff. Hehe. Any way, so I am sitting in Yearbook, eating food, and doing nothing else. Just thought that I would talk about nothing because I enjoy doing that. Well, I love you. Thats all. Goodbye.

Confession 5: 1,300 mile faith

I never realized how much I need god until I went on trek. For those of you who don't know what trek is, it is a youth "activity" where we go to Wyoming and we do what the pioneers did. We pull handcarts in rain, snow, wind, cold, hot, you name it. We pulled them through rivers that were up to our waist, mud that was up to our knees, sagebrush that would cut your legs, ticks, snakes, spiders, bugs, and many other dangerous things like buffalo chips. We did all of this, and still I would take any opportunity to do it again. It made me realize how ungrateful I am to all that I have. It made me realize how easy my life is. It made me realize that I had to change. Change is a word that I like to pretend that I embrace, but am secretly scared to face. It messes up everything. Change is not something that I take lightly. I am not adaptable. It freaks me out to change. To be me and not to deal with anything else is fine. But what about everyone else in the world. What about my ancestors who gave literally everything they had. They changed their lives dramatically just so they could have the opportunity to gather with the saints. They gave everything to walk across this country in blizzards. They gave everything to have the gospel. Something that I was born with and something that I had taken so lightly. My ancestors lost a baby, but by the power of god, she came back to life. I treked for this baby and I hope that she realizes how much she has changed my life. During the womans' pull, it was a challenge, and I wanted to cry the whole way up. It was uphill, the path was slanted to the right or the left the whole way up. The men were standing on either sides of the path silently watching us with their hats off, over their chests, while we struggled up the hill walking right past them, and there was nothing that they could do to help. It hurt just to think about all of the women that left their husband and took their children to go to Zion. It hurt to think of the mothers who were widowed on the way and still pressed on. It hurt. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. During testimony meeting, we had so many different people get up and bear their testimony. One of the testimonies that was given was by an 18 year old girl from my ward. She talked about how hard it would have been to lose a family member on the way. One thing that she said that still sticks with me today was that "I could not be able to lay down my little sister on the side of the trail and know that there were wolves." After I heard her say that, my mind flashed back to my brothers. Would I have the courage to do that? The answer was immediate after one of their faces flashed through my mind. No. At that time. I would not be able to do that. I couldn't. I would give up. So what made coming to Zion so important. Sure they wanted to be surrounded and supported by the saints, but was that it? Or was it their faith in a prophet who was so young. Their faith in a boy who, when he was 14, walked into a grove and saw Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ. Their faith in a man who was tarred and feathered on the streets, at night by men who had painted their faces to hide their identity from a true living prophet of god. Their faith in a man who was innocent, but still was cast into prison multiple times for crimes he had never committed, but willingly went anyway. Their faith in a man who was brutally murdered for the sake of his church and his religion. Their faith is what kept them going. Their faith is what helped them get through the hurt, the pain, the loss, the death, and it got them to here. A desert. I can't imagine their disappointment when Brigham Young said "This is the place" But their faith kept them going through even this. I want to be like the pioneers. I want faith that will walk with me through the good times and will carry me through the bad. I want 1,300 mile faith.

goodbye physiology

So guess who passed the test with an 80%!
well, not me. Yeah try 77%! 3freakin% off!!!
I had moose tracks ice cream and i ate it from a black bowl and black usually signifies emo or something so it worked out great. Yeah. So um Bye!

confession 4

So now I am sitting in physiology doing absolutely nothing. well, i am actually waiting to find out my state final score, but i am anxious. If i get a 79.9% or lower, i will not be able to qualify for my medical assisting degree which would basically send all of my high school plans down the toilet, but i am surprisingly calm. I dont really care if i fail it or if i pass with a 79.9%. In the end, it wont matter.

This is me sitting in Digital Photo, doing absolutely nothing! Not that there isn't anything to do, I just don't want to do anything. So I guess I will write about this person who is awesome and totally funny and crazy but calm and exciting and outgoing and everything that I wish I could be. Their name is not to be exposed. So um, I appreciate this person A LOT and I think have a lot in common with them. I wish I could spend more time with them because every time that I do, I see the good in me because of them. They bring out the real me and when I am with them, I feel like I could do anything I want to. I feel like they appreciate me and they know me. They make me feel loved by just looking at me. So here is to you, confidential. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and all that you do for me. You are my best friend and I miss you already.

long posts.

Dear avid reader.
Yeah. I know that i don't post long and intellectual posts, but whats the point if i only have 2 followers, one being me. i don't know. I don't think that long posts necessarily make you a better person, so i decide not to write them. don't be too disappointed. so i guess i will tell you about what i did yesterday.

1. i woke up at 6:30, to josh Groban serenading me from my i-pod.
2. I stayed in bed until like 6:50 because josh Groban is more important than eating.
3. I went to school.
4. I took a math test.
5. I talked to David Gow about drama.
6. I showed Riley and Shelby my duck, omen. He died. And then Riley hung him with a guitar string.
7. I got a spiritual high!
8. I watched Shelby struggle with her art project.
9. I turned in an English packet to a highly stressed and uptight English teacher that i like to call Suthy.
10. I caught a ride home with Christina and ate super spicy munchies.
11. i made boiled eggs
12. i read the Great Gatsby
13. i went over to Shelbys and watched singing in the rain, but only the song parts. and the weirdly scandalous dancer part with the suddenly long hair.
14. i came home, dropped off my brothers at the elementary school for a party, and then went back home again.
15. I made hot chocolate
16. I went to the soccer game.
17. I drank hot chocolate with Shelby.
18. We cheered Riley on. most of the time.
19. i went to days with Shelby
20. i bought candy, and she didn't.
21. She came back to my house after begging her parents to have a sleepover which they grudgingly agreed to.
22. We made burrito pizzas.
23. We made cookies, and ate a lot of cookie dough.
24. we left at 11:20 to chalk some peoples houses.
25. We chalked some peoples houses. Stalkishly.
26. we came back, and started to watch funny girl with Barbara Streisand. Yeah i know that isn't how you spell her name.
27. we stayed up until 2:00 am. talking about who knows what and laughing at things that probably were not that funny.
28. The end.

so yeah. that was probably the funnest day that i have had in forever.

Oh! would you look at that! my post did turn out pretty long. hmm. Interesting. Oh well. I need to pick up Tucker. Bye

Sincerely,

A Confessing Teenage Girl

wow. Update!

Well, it has been like forever, but whatever. Time for an update. This is a list of things that has happened to me over the past few weeks.

• end of 3rd term. YAY!
• asking T to MORP YAY!
• going on my first real date with an older man. YAY!
• two gentelmen of verona...yeah.
• Jazz night! Doubley yay!
• Chalk-attack! (with Fered and Airy)

so um, yeah. Short list, but hey. whatevs. First real date. With an older man. I know you are all wondering who it could possibly be. lets just say that he is named cakes. Anyway, so i went on a date with cakes and we were going to see tangled, but then it was sold out. So we went and watched megamind. Best movie EVER! so funny. So cakes, if you are reading this, just know that it seriously was the best date ever, and you have raised the bar for anyone that i date, if i date anyone, which is highly unlikely because boys have cooties and stuff... But still. Well, i have nothing else to say. so...Bye!

exposed

So. Some people make things awkward. Apparently, i am one of those people. In the art room, this one girl (lets call her Shelby), and this one guy (lets call him Riley) and me were talking about what happened in our world civ. class. Shelby and Riley are both artists. Like professional artists basically. Anyway, we are learning about Renaissance art in world civ., which obviously brought us to nude people. Riley, being the artist that he is, stated his experience with drawing nude people, and so we were talking about that with Shelby in the art room. He was talking about how he is used to it because his father is an artist and he has been "exposed" to that stuff. Probably the most awkward moment today. So far. I appreciated it thoroughly. Just thought i might give you a laugh.